Ways to annoy annoying cats
by Silverstorm489
Summary: One-shot on how to annoy Berrynose,
1. Chapter 1

**WAYS TO ANNOY ANNOYING CATS!**

**(Hollyleaf goes up to Berrynose)**

**Hollyleaf: Hi Berrynose, guess what?**

**Berrynose: What?**

**Hollyleaf: I'm expecting your kits!**

**Berrynose: WHAT!? We are not mates!**

**Hollyleaf :( looks sad) I thought you'd be pleased**

**Berrynose: Um I guess I am. Have you checked with Leafpool yet? **

**Hollyleaf: Yes, and with Jayfeather and when I saw Willowshine at the gathering she confirmed it too. Bye Sweetie!**

**(Berrynose is on his way to see Leafpool when Cinderheart stops him)**

**Cinderheart: Hello, I was wondering if I could have a word with you. In private, NOW**

**Berrynose: O-okay**

**Cinderheart: Let's go into the forest, what I have to say is not for all ears, yet**

**Berrynose: What is it?**

**Cinderheart: I was just told some great news! I'm going to have your kits! Are you pleased?**

**Berrynose: OH WHAT!? Oh my, oh Starclan, that's **

**Cinderheart: Good? Hope your pleased Berrynose even if I'm not**

**(Cinderheart leaves)**

**(Berrynose goes back to camp when Honeyfern and Poppyfrost stop him**

**Honeyfern and Poppyfrost: We're both going to have your kits Berrynose isn't that awesome!?**

**(Berrynose runs away into the forest and meets Hazeltail)**

**Berrynose: Hazeltail, I really don't know what to do**

**Hazeltail: Me neither, oh Berrynose, what are we going to tell the clan?**

**Berrynose: huh?**

**Hazeltail: No brother and sister have ever had kits before!**

**Berrynose: YOU TOO!?**

**(Berrynose runs back to camp and is stopped by Mousefur)**

**Mousefur: I've just been told about Hollyleaf, stick to having kits with one queen won't you?**

**Berrynose; I never meant to! It's not as if I love any of them.**

**Mousefur: But I love you and I'm having your kits too, but I want to be the only one!**

**Berrynose: YOU'RE HAVING KITS!? You of all cats, you're an elder for Starclan's sake **

**Mousefur: I thought you loved me! I love you so much but all you are is a lump of she-cat loving DUNG, we are no longer mates, I will never share a piece of fresh kill with you again, or sleep by your side, Longtail is now my best friend! He's a much worthier mate!**

**(Mousefur stalks away)**

**(Longtail walks up to Berrynose)**

**Longtail: it's always so exciting having new kits in the clan; I just heard that your mate is going to have kits! I never knew that you were hanging out with a she-cat!**

**(Berrynose storms off in a tiff, he runs into Thornclaw)**

**Berrynose: Oh Thornclaw, I'm going to be a father**

**Thornclaw: WHAT, you mean you know all ready that I'm going to have your kits?**

**Berrynose: B-but your a flaming tom for crying out loud! Its not possible, its just a dream, just a dream**

**(Berrynose screeches and runs to where Leafpool, Jayfeather and Firestar are sharing a mouse)**

**Berrynose: LEAFPOOL, JAYFEATHER, is it true that Hollyleaf, Honeyfern, Cinderheart, Poppyfrost, Hazeltail, Thornclaw and Mousefur are ALL expecting my kits?**

**(Leafpool and Jayfeather nod)**

**Firestar: Berrynose, it is not good to have so many mates, what will your mother think? It's a disgrace to Thunderclan, please find ONE mate and stick with her! It's mean, disloyal and stupid, you do deserve to be called BERRY-STUMPY-TAIL! Grrr.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Annoying Jayfeather.

it is very hard to annoy Jayfeather because he is almost always grumpy, so to really annoy him you have to go extra hard:) enjoy

_**(Jayfeather walks into his den, he finds Hollyleaf waiting for him)**_

**Hollyleaf: Hi Jayfeather, can you come with me to the moonpool, I have to talk to Starclan about something really important**

**Jayfeather: Sure, just let me check its ok with Firestar**

**(Hollyleaf and Jayfeather arrive at the moonpool)**

**Jayfeather: Touch your nose to the water and Starclan will send you to sleep**

**Hollyleaf: Show me first**

**(Jayfeather sits down and touches his nose to the water, he falls asleep)**

**Hollyleaf: Come on guys, he's sleeping!**

**(Lionblaze, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Blossomfall, Dovewing and Ivypool come out of the bushes carrying herbs, flowers and fresh-kill, they rub a herb all over his nose that makes him not be able to smell, then, they dye his fur multi-coloured using pollen, flowers, mouse blood and other plants, then they leave)**

**Hollyleaf: Wake up Jayfeather, its time to go**

**Jayfeather: (Yawning) did you find the answer you were looking for?**

**Hollyleaf:(Trying not to laugh) Yup.**

**AT THE GATHERING:**

**Willowshine: hi Jayfeather, wow what the heck have you done to your fur?**

**Jayfeather: Nothing, its normal**

**Willowshine: Um okay...**

**Firestar: If it is ok, I will speak first,**

**(The other leaders nod their approval)**

**Firestar: I would like to welcome our rainbow medicine cat, Jayfeather, **

**Jayfeather: WHAT, Firestar , my fur is normal,**

**(Everyone laughs)**

**Jayfeather: Seriously, Hollyleaf groomed it for me and she said it looks like it always does and...HOLLYLEAF!**

**(Jayfeather chases his sister round the tree, then she leads him over to the tree bridge**

**Jayfeather: I'm going to slaughter you and all who smell like you**

**Hollyleaf: don't fall in the lake!**

**(She shoves him in, all the rainbow dye rubs off)**

**Hollyleaf: ATTACK!**

**(All the clans start pelting him with walnuts and rotten fish)**

**THE END! (Will be continued)**

Thanks for reading, an suggestions of who I should annoy next and how would be greatly appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Lionblaze**_

Lionblaze padded through the thick undergrowth carrying a limp squirrel between his jaws,

"Hey, nice catch!" Cinderheart greeted him outside the thunderclan camp.

"Thanks" he replied. They walked into the camp together and sat down outside the warriors den to eat.

"Cinderheart!" they heard someone call, Lionblaze turned to see Icecloud walking towards them

"You stay away from him, he's mine" she hissed

"Hang on a minute" Said Lionblaze

"Icecloud" Said Lionblaze

"Icecloud you've got bees in your brain, Lionblaze is mine!" Ivypool came up behind them and shoved her away.

"I've even got wedding photos to prove it" she added smugly

"Whoa, Ivypool, you don't even have a camera" said Blossomfall as she joined them. "I, however, am Lionblaze's true mate, I've got love notes"

"No, you wrote them yourself because no tom is in love with you!"

"Wait" Hollyleaf called "Are you guys hitting on my guy?"

"Hollyleaf, your my sister, we can't be mates" Lionblaze said through gritted teeth

"Sure we can honey!"

"Lionblaze dear, can you come groom my fur" Mousefur called

"NO" he screeched

"Why not, mates always clean each other's fur"

"WE ARE NOT MATES, I AM NOT SINGLE, IM WITH…"

"Me" called Hollyleaf

"Me" yelled Icecloud

"ME!"

"Me"

"Me"

"I AM MATES WITH CINDERHEART NOW ALL OF YOU CLEAR OFF"

"Since when were we mates Lionblaze?" Cinderheart asked

"We aren't?"

"Nope"

"HE'S SINGLE, GET HIM!"

They all start to chase him round and round the camp until Lionblaze climbs a tree and starts to throw acorns at them.

YAY! chapter 3 is done!

Hey you should so see the CreativeClan forum, if you don't I will stop updating


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4, annoying Mousefur.

The sun shone over thunderclan as they ate and shared tongues, Mousefur sat down with Purdy as he munched loudly on a vole.

"LET ALL CATS OLD ENOUGH TO CATCH THEIR OWN SQUIRRELS GATHER HERE BENEATH THE HIGHLEDGE FOR A SQUIRREL HUNT" Firestar yelled. cats came out of dens and as soon as everyone was waiting, Firestar "Sneezed". everyone started to run out of camp screaming.

"WHATS HAPPENING" Mousefur screeched as she followed Purdy. suddenly, she tripped. by the time stood up, everyone had gone, all she could hear was screaming.

"HELP ME!" Mousefur panicked. she ran out of camp and down to the training hollow, no one was there. the screaming continued

"OH STARCLAN FOR GIVE ME FOR WHAT EVER I HAVE DONE TO DESERVE THIS!" she yowled into the sky "JUST RESCUE ME FROM THIS CALAMITY! OH LONGTAIL IF YOU CAN HEAR MY CRY COME AND SAVE ME!" Mousefur started to run in circles yelling "OH LONGTAIL FORGIVE ME" over and over again.

"Hey Mousefur, whats up?" Lionblaze walked into the clearing followed by the apprentices.

"thank you oh mighty one for saving me!" she ran over to him and crouched at his feet "MY HERO"

"Um, Mousefur, are you ok?" he asked

"Yes, im fine now you've chased away m the enemy!"

"Molepaw" Lionblaze beckoned hime over "Go get every single cat with medicine cat training in the world, I think she's gone loco"

"No, im absolutely fine! seriously I am perfect" Mousefur pouted

"Yeah really perfect" He replied sarcasticly

Hollyleaf, Leafpool and Jayfeather came in to the clearing, Jayfeather has a look over Mousefur,

"She seems ok" he grumbled "Mousefur, tell me everything you remember"

"Well, Firestar called a squirrel hunt for the whole clan and then something happened and they ran away screaming and then I was left alone so I went looking for you and then, and then, Lionblaze saved me!"

"Mousefur, Firestar and I only just got back from the moonpool. I think your going a bit cuckoo," Jayfeather said very loud and slowly,

"NO, No im fine" she added "NOOOO IM PERFECTLY SANE, YOU CAN'T SAY IM GOING INSANE IM OKAY!" Mousefur yelled as she was dragged back to camp.

Back at camp, Firestar was sitting beneath the highledge with Blackstar, mistystar and onestar

"Sowhat is to be done with the mad cats?" he asked

"Well" Onestar replied "We could hold them on the island until the gathering then ask our clans"

"Or" Mistystar added "If they are going to pose a threat to the clan we should banish them

"Maybe they should be put out of their misery for good, we have enough berrys to do it." Blackstar said

"NO NO NONONONONNO im perfectly normal, STARCLAN SAVE MEEE! IM TOTALLY FINE SEE?" Mousefur screeched

"Um, no one can see, TAKE HER TO THE ISLAND" Firestar ordered "We shall decide her fate tomorrow.

Mousefur started to kick and scream and yell as she was dragged away

"


End file.
